Q1: Why/How Did You Choose Your Field
To address the question of why I choose my field which is psychology. The old me would say none, and I believe lots of teens are simply just like me. We just want to follow the flow, our aim is just to ace in SPM/IGCE. FULLSTOP. Yeah, I can't say all of us are like that. Some of us are so passionate for a specific field since young, and that is good. However, I would like to point out that it is fine to not have any specific ambitions right now. The most crucial thing that we must have in our mind is actually what we want in our life, i.e. our life's purpose. Our purpose is the one that determines our worth. It supplies us with continuous energy and steadfast momentum to keep moving no matter how hard and chaotic life can be. As for me, I found my purpose of life recently. One that is solely MINE, solidly free from expectation - permanent. Only after that I could make peace with my field of study fixed by my sponsor and to tell the truth, now I start to appreciate this - OPPORTUNITY that I have. Your purpose is what determines you and it can be as 'insignificant', 'nonsense' or "irrational' to others.. but as long as it is IMPORTANT to you and aligns with rules of the UNIVERSE (not human or society), go for it !
Rules of universe- the universe is so big with lots of unsolved mysteries, but it has a certain limit in which if you want to know, dwell deeper into the nature of human :)
Q2: Why/How did you choose your scholarship, what was the application experience like?
For question 2, I didn't choose my scholarship at all. I applied for all of the scholarships that I know and up till now I can remember those sleepless night to finish all the essays and organize all the certificates, countless time panicking over interviews (dozens of outfit to portray the best of myself for the interviews), having internal crisis of what I want to be ,feeling insecure over almost everything as well.
And it turned out to be well at first, for most of the scholarships. I managed to pass until the last stage of interview (praise to God) but after that, emails of rejection from those scholars filled in my inbox . PETRONAS group interview session was held after I received all those hurtful emails (plus keeping it as secrets from my parents) and I was so demotivated to even go for that group interview in the first place. At last, I went for the group interview with a sole purpose - I just want to help someone from my team to get those picky-annoying scholarships. I would just be my BEST self, talking confidently in mixed Malay English and talk what my inner child want to- and that will be the last interview that I will go-the last interview that I won't be pretentious. Then, I got it :D the scholarship I never aim for and never prepare for... To emphasize one thing, it is never to be my intention to encourage anyone to not prepare for scholarship interview. The only advice that I would like to share is to DO until the last try. I learned that sometimes we are trying too hard to be like others that we lost ourselves. We are not suppose to re-born ourselves ,we just need to improve it.
The Experience was like a roller coaster ride. I would like to use this platform to express my gratitude to my family, teachers, friends and PETRONAS as well, for giving me this unexpected opportunity, and to those who read this, please know that your rizq (chance) is on the way and it is never too late or too early. Be at ease and do your best.
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